She left my nest

My first born girl left the nest for the first time last August, when we dropped her off at school and she disappeared into the crowd.  We were confused because all the new kids went into the auditorium and the parents went through some other door to sit and listen to the multiple welcome speeches that followed. Then the kids were dismissed into group sessions and parents were just dismissed. WOW! Don't I get a hug good bye :-(

We texted each other. She was so happy and we were so proud of her and happy that she was happy.  But a little sad too.  After all, she was the second out our four kids to leave the nest.  On the bright side, I know she's safe and happy.

Our little Em has challenged my patience and had me questioning my parenting skills.  I think that's supposed to happen at some point in our lives with at least one of our kids... I have four.

But most important she has managed to make us laugh when we least wanted to laugh. She's a natural artist with a smile that makes everyone smile back.  She loves funny movies, sitcoms, and good books. She has a big heart and a genuine love for those around her. When she makes a friend, she's a friend for life.

I have to admit that it was a lot harder dropping her off this year as she begins her second year of college. She spent her summer at home, worked three jobs, spent quality time with her dad and siblings, met up with some friends, and occasionally forced me to watch her favorite shows because she thought we needed to laugh together. Yes, in the end I did.

Now we are settling into our new home, getting the second set of kids adjusted back in school and really missing both our older kids as they make their new lives without mom and dad.  Well, physically, trust me, they both call or text enough to stay very active in our lives... THAT is something a truly treasure!

Can't wait to see what this year brings! We will be seeing them both again soon and spending more quality time with our first two treasures.  I can't wait! Love my Em and I really, really miss being forced to watch funny shows or listen to her retelling that last book she read.

A great weekend is just ahead!!

Teens and chores- It's like mixing vinegar and oil

When the kids are in school for a while I find myself excited for them to take a break so we can do stuff at home or around town AND so they can catch up on their chores.  Yeah, I know, I'm dreaming.  Once they are out of school for a while (a day or two) I realize how much I appreciate when they are back in school because otherwise my house is chaos, even if they do their chores.

Now that they are back in school things at home are reaching a level of normalcy.  I don't care for the daily things like poundig on their door at 5:30 am because their alarm has been going on for too long, I have to watch them leave the house with little protection against the elements and with wet hair (I remind myself that I'm just a parent and don't know much about anything), I have to make sure they eat, did their homework, don't forget anything, etc.  Then once they leave I make the mistake of walking into their rooms only to find more chaos.

I'm not a obsessive about being organized but I do expect a certain level of order and cleanliness.  My teens however seem to thrive in their chaos, the piles of clothes, books, trash and the unmade bed.   

Sometimes frustration drives me to collect everything into several baskets just so it doesn't look so crazy, however I don't like picking up their messes.  They are old enough to know better.   I also try to remember that it's really not that important that everything looks perfect (although I don't expect perfection) mainly because I don't want to seem like an angry mom all the time.  Seems all I do these days is bark orders "Do your laundry, clean the litter box, you have kitchen duty, pick up your shoes, hang your coat...blah...blah...blah!" 

Am I alone in this battle?  

I will avoid barking orders from now on, but I'm still going to provide them with their list of things to do and simply expect they'll do them before they get whatever it is they want for the day.  The friend sleep-over, iPod, car keys, phone, TV and PC time are mine.  

It's time they begin to earn their privileges----again!

Did your alarm go off?

Photo by louhamilton23

Today was a pretty special morning in our household.  Allow me to back up to last night when I stood in the hallway between the teen's bedroom doors and said 

"You set your alarm to 5:15 am and you set it to 5:30 am.  I suggest you get up because if I have to come up here to wake you up I will come with cold water."

The first few days of school they wake up before the alarm and are ready to go too early.  After a few weeks they press the snooze button 5 or 6 times so they have to rush out the door still soak and wet from the shower and showing off their pillow marks across the face; now they set the alarm to the wrong time, AM vs PM, and when asked to double check they choose not to.  Lately they get up because they hear me coming and it's getting old.  

This morning was pretty special, however.  Mr. Dad woke them up and apparently he must have slept well because under other circumstances he would have been the one with cold water in his hands.  Amazingly the kids got ready and even had time for a quick shower.  J (17) came downstairs, packed his bag and drank orange juice, ate a granola bar and a banana, followed by his vitamins.  Not bad, he's ready and has 5 minutes to spare.  The girl, Em (14) comes down acting like we should be ready for her highness.  She can't find her shoes, she doesn't want to eat, her hair is dripping water everywhere and it's everybody's fault.  

For a moment we just watch this little creation we love so much and as she leaves the room we can't help but laugh at her behavior because otherwise I might hurt her.  She comes back in the room, "HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SHOES?"  I say, "well, who wore them last?"  Mr. Dad and J of course have to laugh, loudly, sending her ven further into a trantrum as we are all to blame for her missing shoes.

Finally on the way out the door I give her a pair a shoes, the old ones that were sitting by the door and she responds with "I can't wear those, they're old and ripped up and dirty! Boo hoo!!"  I added the boo hoo but I know it's what she was thinking.  

I say "if you put your stuff in place, like I ask you to do every day you wouldn't have a problem finding your shoes now."  I just love being right every once in a while...what a great feeling.  No one could argue my point.  We have a shoe rack by the door and coat rack, a place for book bags and books, a palce for dirty clothes and a place for clean clothes.  Follow that map and you'll find your stuff.  Oh we even have a place for keys which Mr. Dad seems to always miss then he spends 10 minutes in the morning blaming the world for his missing keys but that's not my problem. 

I would like to find the perfect Teen alarm clock.  One that will pinch their hand if they try to snooze, one that will spray water when it goes off for longer than 5 minutes or maybe one that turns on all the lights, sprays water and screams "GET UP!"

So glad they'll be in school all day.  I will take it upon myself to reset the alarm clocks, maybe add a few extra minutes just for fun and see how things go tomorrow.