Life IS short...now what?

I have been reading a self-help book by Loretta LaRoche called "Life Is Short--Wear Your Party Pants" and once again, a year later, I decided to give it a second chance.  The first time around I focused on the humor in this book and thought that there were many usable ideas that I could apply in my own life but I didn't, just laughed at the sense of humor the author clearly uses to keep the reader engaged. She's hillarious!

I started reading it again this week and this time I am really listening and trying to apply the advise given to my own life.  Chapter one I have read several times and I keep going back to one key point:

"An Amazing Life Requires Resilience"

This section talks about stress and points the amount of time we spend trying to find cures to our stress then just living in the moment and embracing the stress we have.  I realized how often I spend my time venting to a friend or reading about ways to get rid of my stressors.  Then I read this:

"Stress isn't something to try to disguise or eradicate. Stress is a signal.  When you learn to recognize it and work with it, instead of against it, you can learn a lot about what to do to be happier and healthier. Stress is a actually a blessing that can help you realize when you need to make changes in your life." (LaRoche, pg. 2)

Well I listened and made some changes.  One of my many stressors was our morning routine.  The kids waking up late, lunches, breakfast, book bags, laundry, all happening in the morning, within that one hour we should be spending getting ready and eating breakfast and making sure we're catching the bus on time.  I can't get rid of the kids (or can I?), I'm kidding, I love that they are part of my stress but I can teach them to prepare the night before and spend a little more time immediately after dinner getting ready for the next day.  Did all that for one week and our mornings were actually pleasant.  We gained so much time that now Nat has time to take Honey for a 20 minute walk and still manage to catch the bus and get to school on time.

Michael and I have time for a short chat before heading to work, there's time to consider what to make for dinner, there's time to sip a cup of coffee.

I agree with Ms. LaRoche and I'm glad she reminded me to embrace my stress; to Say YES to Stress!

Until next time,

Terie

Really missing my honey :-(

"I Love You"

When my husband travels for one or two weeks at a time I don't usually fret about it.  I miss him but not so much that I feel the need to write or talk about it.  I am one of the guilty military wives crazy enough to admit that I do like it when he travels for short periods of time.  Not only does it give us a little space and time to miss each other but I also get a little break from the old routine (cooking, laundry, his favorite TV shows).

This last week he had to go back to the states, except this time he left stressed and he was traveling due to a family emergency.  He had to help his brother and that is most definitely important. However, I felt he was already gone the week before so I was ready for him to go and be physically there, getting answers.

This time I felt a real separation.  He left with nothing but his brother on his mind, didn't even know school was starting soon and didn't call to ask the girls how that was coming along.  Didn't call to ask how we were doing or if the baby was doing well.  I felt resentment, I felt selfish for thinking he should call and remember all these things.  I felt guilty for thinking he should be able to handle both, the urgency back home and the routine here on the island.  I thought he should be able to turn off the emotional concerns and stress being brought on by the events surrounding his brother and his parents and focus on HIS family just for a little bit.  I was afraid that his coming home would mean he would still have his mind there and not here.

I realized, this morning, that aside from the fact that I'm feeling a little more hormonal than usual this week, I have also been holding everything inside. Not crying, not being upset, not allowing myself to get stressed and not talking to anyone who might make me feel less then happy.  I continued my routine at the gym, the kids, the chores and to-do's of the day and stayed strong because after all, I have to be strong for my kids and for my husband...someone has to.

I finally let it all go today.  I broke down and cried, told my husband how I felt and how sorry I was for feeling the way I did and thinking what I thought about him.  I am not usually one to hold things in because I know that those things will make me unhappy and cranky.  It's pointless to worry from the inside out without doing anything to change the situation.  

So now I'm back to being me.  Realizing that my husband is not worried about his wife, kids, home because he knows I am strong and will take care of everyone.  On this mission he should only have to worry and think about his brother who needs him.  If he were to call everyday I might be offended that he didn't trust me.  Instead I am proud to have him in my life and happy that he trust me enough to not worry about what's happening here at home.  I am so glad I can provide him with that much sanity when things go crazy elsewhere!

He's on his way home and feeling great.  He is leaving his brother in good hands and in better shape then when he first arrived.  I'm glad I wasn't a source of stress for him,  I love him and I miss him, that's all!

~Terie

Staying in the now

Photo by SpinDiva

"Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. The only place where you can experience the flow of life is the Now, so to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation... It is to relinquish inner resistance to what is." ~ Eckhart Tolle

~ ~ ~

Life. It has been somewhat complicated these past two weeks. We've been packed, the vehicle has shipped, we live in a hotel suite smaller than my old bathroom but the kids are happy. I was a little worried about their reaction to moving and leaving dear friends behind. I must have done a really good job somewhere along the way (yes, padding myself in the back right now) because I expected trouble all the way to the end. Instead they are excited, sad to leave friends, as am I, but excited for this new adventure to begin. A few more days of this craziness and we're on our way from 45 degrees and foggy to 85 degrees and clear. I can live with that! I can't wait to share our adventures and life in Guantanamo. I have a feeling we will have some interesting stories to tell. I do hear you saying "I don't know how you do it all." Well I have friends reminding me that I should forget about the statement "it is what it is" and remember that "it is...what you make of it." So I choose to make it a positive experience, even in the midst of stress and chaos. 

I admit there were a few moments I thought I'd loose my mind and the stress monster tried very hard to take me down (i.e. when I thought I lost my wallet one week prior to moving) but I resisted, talked myself out of an anxiety attack and guess what, I found my wallet exactly where I left it, under the bathroom sink.  

WHAT? Doesn't everyone use this space for their wallet? Surely you must have put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the pantry at some point in your life!!

OK call me crazy. Well, then again, don't. That would just be mean.

I will continue to remind myself that right here, right now is really all that matters so I will continue to only focus on that which I can control, everything else will fall into place nicely.

I thrive under pressure

Oh my word, this is so me lately, except they should add a few more kids to the mix, definitely a few moody teenagers.

Why do I thrive on the edge of pressure?  It's almost like I seek out things to do to get me stressed.  Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy those times of nothing to do but it seems that I can't enjoy down time unless I've had a good dose of "give me pressured, stress me out" up time.  Crazy  huh?

You all know I'm moving, supposedly in four to six weeks.  So why am I not emptying these closets and drawers.  I have the time now?  I often open a closet I plan to go through because surely there's something in there I don't want them to pack nor do I want to keep but then I close that door and say, "maybe later, there's plenty of time" and that's the end of that.

It's nothing new, it's really comical now for me to wait until I feel that pressure, let my adrenalin kick in and get something done fast and efficiently all while trying to accomplish a million other last minute things too. I've become quite good at living under pressure.

I guess that is what motivates me, what gives me energy to move and get things done.  Some people prefer to have time to work slowly and others, like me, thrive under pressure.  That's never going to change.

Today, however, is a beautiful day which I have chosen to do a little of all the things I enjoy doing on a Sunday.  I will drink my tea, blog and read blogs, visit my only classroom (Oh yes, school is back in session for me too!), I will go to church today and then we have plans to celebrate Labor Day with friends.

I wish everyone a happy and safe Labor Day Weekend.  You deserve a break, so take it!!

Outdoor and Watery Wednesday - Watery Fun

Susan from A Southern Day Dreamer hosts outdoor Wednesday which is fantastic because it brings me back from crazy land into blog-o-land. Go visit Susan. The other posts are just amazing. Thanks Susan!!

So we finally received our orders to ship out to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Great!! There's no fun in waiting. I like having 'orders' telling me to pack my stuff and move, like NOW! OK so maybe not now but in 8-10 weeks. Sure, because government offices are that efficient right. Not trying to insult anyone out there who might be a government employee doing a great job. There are quite a few of you who do and I, for one, am thankful for your service.

My beef is with the others who feel I owe them and should be blessed that they are even helping me. Just tell me what you need from me so we can move along and I will do it. It's pretty simple. No. We will wait until you have been in our waiting room with your screaming kid running up and down the corridor before we tell you that you are either in the wrong room or have the wrong information or are missing a piece of vital importance. We like it like that!!

Well that was me venting briefly because since we got our orders and realized we need to sell our house, be screened for overseas travel with the military, transfer school records and get new government issued passports, I have been stressing...that is until I realized, again, that there is no point in stressing over the things I can't control so I will put my focus on what I can do and you know what, things are improving. Amazing what a little attitude adjustment can do for you.

So now I will ask lots of questions and get all my ducks in a row before going to see any government agent. Even if they think I'm an idiot for asking "dumb" questions. In my recent experience, there are no dumb questions. I will follow instruction, be patient, exercise, eat well, rest and most important.... here, this is most important:

We will have a great summer.....we will get soakin' wet.... we will live and be happy.
We will smile, laugh, enjoy life and leave stress out of the picture.

In the end, Daddy has to leave by end of September, the rest of us can join him as soon as our paperwork is completed. No Big Deal!!

Have a fantastic Summer everyone, and thanks for visiting my blog.

PS: I have an awesome recipe and wine combo coming on Friday for Foodie Friday so come again soon.

I realized this fits right in with Watery Wednesday. Great blog and great watery posts there as well. Go check them out.

Living between nap time and bed time

Lately, I feel like like I am living between the baby's nap time and bed time.  Some times I just can't wait for his nap time and then his bed time so I can get back to catching up with all my to-do's.  Things just pile up and no fly lady or well organized program seems to be enough to get things done.  

Did somebody add water to my laundry? It has grown since I last switched it! Anyway, I was feeling proud of myself for keeping up with my laundry but in reality I wasn't keeping up, I was just washing an drying but not folding and storing.  Crazy how that happens. 

I have a list, well I do now.  I have my online planner and my paper planner that needs to be updated so I don't forget anything.  How do I get myself into these situations?  Well, it only takes me not following my routine for a couple of days and then I end up with an avalanche of stuff to do.  With two teens, a six and 2.5 year old in the house, plus the husband, one would think we have enough people here to keep things clean and organized. Time for me to put my foot down...yet again, and get everyone working again.

Thank God I am still able to get a workout, sleep, dinner on the table every night, hugs and sloppy kisses from the little ones and every now and then hugs and kisses from the big kids too.

As I sit here writing I hear my email chime so I leave this and go there onlyh to find this email (apparently voted best email of the year) from a close friend:  

If you think you are unhappy, look at them 


If you think your salary is low, how about her?

If you think you don't have many friends...


When you feel like giving up, think of this man




If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?



If you complain about your transport system, how about them?



If your society is unfair to you, how about her? 

Enjoy life how it is and as it comes 
There are many things in your life that will catch your eye
but only a few will catch your heart....pursue those... 

This is about when I stopped feeling pity and I remembered how lucky I am to have these kids to clean up after, to have a home, a job, a health life.  Digg also had a post of this list with a few other, more depressing, photos.  Someone made a comment about it being depressing and why someone would waste their time putting this together, etc. I don't know about  you, it really did touch my heart.  I'm sorry it's depressing, it's also real.  These things do happen to real people.  

I give thanks for having the things I sometimes call stressful, a problem, or troublesome, for those are thing things that make me happiest. 

Cramming for finals

I never thought that I would still be cramming for finals, after four kids, an 18 year marriage, and more military moves than I can count in one hand. I once overheard someone say "it took me 20 years but I got my degree." Immediately I thought, "yeah, I wont let that happen to me." Ha!! I was young and stupid. OK so maybe it has not taken 20 years but to work on a bachelors degree for more than the norm (4 years) just seemed crazy to me. There are some advantages to this continuing education of mine.

- I have been able to narrow down where I want to be, eventually.
- I pay attention more.
- I work harder.
- I have learned more and retained more.

When I graduated high school I had no clue what it was I wanted to do with my life. I had so many interest and no one really sat down and pushed me in any one direction or another. The most I ever heard was "go into computers, that's where the money is," I personally think there has to be more than just money to convince me and I really only like to play with computers and programs someone else invented. I was also encouraged to go into nursing, "you should go into nursing, you'll always have a job in that field." Well, as much as I love to help others, there are areas of nursing that are simply not for me. So instead of attempting to focus on any one thing I joined the US Marines. What an honor it was to be called a US Marine. Still today when someone finds out I get the "OH WOW, you were a Marine, no wonder you work us like a Drill Instructor." Yes, much of what I learned about "no pain, no gain" stuck with me, I just wish I had more time to put into action.

Anyway, here I am, only two maybe 2.5 semesters away from finishing my school work. I will likely graduate when my oldest son graduates High School. I will obtain a Bachelors Degree in Social Studies with a minor in Humanities then I will take a break from formal education to focus on my passion, Personal Training, Nutrition, potentially go into Massage Therapy within the next few years. If you're wondering about the Social Studies degree, I am not planning to be a social worker or a counselor unless it's in the Health and Fitness industry.

So as I sit here writing this post I realize that it is never too late to reach our goals, we are never too old to learn, and we should always continue to pursue our dreams because even if the ultimate goal is not reached, we would have learned a lot along the way. Confucius once said "It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." I keep this quote handy for those days when I feel like I just can't go any further.

I know I need to continue studying for my final which is Friday. But I'm glad I took this break to reflect on my personal accomplishments. With or without this degree, there is no greater accomplishment then watching my children grow and learn and become honorable members of society because I know I had something to do with the outcome.




(Photo credit: Olivander @ Flickr.com -I will link it when flickr stops acting up)