This week I have been working very hard to not think about all the momentus changes taking place in our lives over the next six months. I work hard to not cry and keep my cool. I work hard to maintain balance among the little ones, the friends, the co-workers, the students and all the people in my life. However, eventually something's gotta give. As I was driving to the gym this morning, this time for me and not anyone else, I found myself crying. My first born boy is graduating High School tomorrow and although he will be living with us over the summer, in September he will be leaving my nest to attend Westminster Choir Collage in Princeton, New Jersey.
He has been a true gem, an incredibly independent, self motivated, hands-off young man who pushed himself harder than anyone to do well and be the best he can be at everything he does. He's funny, charming, smart, loves to cook, sing, read, play the piano, read, eat, cook, watch good movies, read, eat...I think I mentioned that already. His favorite past time next to reading is eating.
I am proud of him and wouldn't want him to stay home longer than he wants to because he is ready to get out there and start the next chapter in his life in one of the best Music schools in the country. But I never imagined it would be so hard to let him go. This experience should prepare me for the next three---doubt it though. They each bring a certain something to my life which I will miss terribly so I'll deal with this separation anxiety one kid at a time.
I guess I'll cry a little more between today, his graduation tomorrow and the final drop off when school starts in September. I pray each day that God give him the wisdom to make good decisions, the courage to reach for the stars, and the serenity to accept himself when things don't go his way.
To add to my anxiety we had a realtor visit us yesterday because the time has come for us to sell our home and move. Yes, we are expecting a new set of orders in the fall. Orders that will take us to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for a three year tour. This is exciting on so many levels. My 15 yo daughter is torn about the whole deal but I think she is looking forward to the change and being in a school where her brother isn't the star and she is not expected to walk to the beat of his drum. But, there are the friends and at this age, moving is a difficult process. I will do my best to make it a good experience for her. As for the younger kids, they look forward to having summer year round and going to the beach whenever.
Ahhhh, the things we do. I have been either in the military myself or married to a military man for over 20 years now so moving is not an issue for me. I do embrace change, it's happening, it's coming and there's nothing I can do about it so why fight it. Everywhere we've lived we seem to find great friends, great adventures, and always manage to find the beauty of each city we've lived in.
Have a great weekend everyone!
You are blessed indeed ~ be thankful you have a son who is ready to be launched, who is able to make decisions - whether they are good or bad. A new home, new friends, new adventures ... it's all good, my friend. I am thrilled for you AND I also can feel your real pain.ReplyDelete