It must be love

Photo by In[a]heartbeat

You remember that feeling you got the first time your heart was broken by someone you loved?  It's a sinking, emptiness, feeling inefficient, unable to heal the pain.  That's the feeling I get when any one of my kids has his or her heart broken by someone they love.  I love my kids and I don't want them to ever feel this pain but it is part of life and part of growing up.  The only way to learn how to deal with a broken heart is to have your heart broken - I hate it but it is a fact of life and I understand it.

Both my teens have come to me in the last couple of days with what to them must feel like the biggest and most devastating  heart break.  Not from a girlfriend or boyfriend but from friends; friends they love and care for.  Friends that sometimes want to rule in matters of the heart and friends who choose when to call my kids and when to call someone else instead; friends who want to choose when and with whom you have fun.  Good kids, I presume, with a misguided view of what is like to be a real friend.

All I can do is listen, give a little advice and remind them that they are good kids, that they are loved, and that while a broken heart can bring on a lot of emotional pain, it will heal if they let it.  This too shall pass and in the future they will be able to recognize when someone is real and not so real.  I remind them that they should never let others taint their love for life because my kids... they love life, they love their life and for that I am thankful.

I will always be here for them and yes, my heart aches like it did with my first heart break, but I know how to deal with it, they need not know that I ache when they ache.  They only need to know that I love them with all my heart.  I will be here no matter what.  They are my life!!  It must be love!

Politics and Friends - is it possible?

"Friendship" by Jofel Tobias

"Friends are those who know all about you and still put up with your crap!" 

(don't know where I read this so if it's you, I will be happy to give you credit, just leave me a comment)

I do not like debates or confrontations, nor do I like to impose my views on anyone, at least not on purpose.  I may occasionally have a brief discussion about politics or religion with someone who is more like me - non-confrontational and those usually end with a roaring laugh and we move on to more present issues like "what the heck is he putting in his mouth now--eww!"

However, I have several friends who absolutely love to talk politics AND religion.  Not just talk, they will fight you tooth and nail about what they think is the "real truth" and even go as far as quoting several TV and Radio personalities who supposedly "know the truth."  I don't care much for what TV and Radio people say because for the most part, they are imposing their views on us as well and many are just trying really hard to scare the bejeezus out of people and life is just too short to live in fear.  Anyway, I'm more interested in what my kids have to say and how their day at school went and how my clients feel after a good workout...and, oh my gosh it's almost 5 and I haven't even started dinner!!

Some of my friends already know how I feel and try to avoid the subject but somehow always manage to go there and it makes me avoid their calls, just sometimes.  I love my friends, don't get me wrong, I don't let their views get in the way of my affection for them. But it just seems so much more difficult to visit with them and have good old fashion fun when we're both edgy about any topic.  Me because I don't want to say anything that might open up a can of worms and them because they are trying to avoid the topic so hard that they stop having fun.

Case in point--I invited one of my really good friends to a girls get away and for the first time she told me why she could not come.  She said "I just wont have fun because you guys don't like to talk about the things that interest me, like the current events, i.e. politics, economy, religion, etc."  My answer was, "why do we have to touch any of those topics, ever. Can't we just talk about life, our kids, where we hope to be in ten years, our dreams or heck the sunset, that would be an awesome conversation starter."  Well, she's not coming and I guess it's for the best :-(

I actually stress when we have friends come over whose views are our polar opposites because I'm afraid someone will get on a subject of insulting a political somebody and it will all go downhill from there.  Recently I decided that the best way for me to deal with this particular stressor is to identify immediately when the conversation gets sour and kindly tell my friends the following:  "It's obvious that we have different viewpoints so lets agree to disagree now, hey did you like the wine, would like something else to eat, so how are the kids....etc."

I just feel that everyone has a right to their beliefs and their opinions but I don't think it's my place to use my social time to impress my views on my friends.  If the purpose of our meeting is to discuss the current state of the nation, political views and/or religious views, then I will do my homework so that I can try to have an intelligent conversation, share my views and hope we could still be friends in the end.  Otherwise, I just want to have a nice visit, share some family updates, maybe even talk about the past or the future without getting into a heated debate about who said what and who is wrong or who ate what where, etc.

I have better things to do with my time.  My family, education, job, home, living healthy...living everyday as the gift that it is.  I also like to drink my wine, eat good food and laugh...now THAT I will share with my friends!!

Christmas Music in November...that's just rude!

Is it Christmas already? No Wait! We ARE still in the month of November right?  By the looks of my photos below, I think I can safely say that Autumn is definitely here and from my understanding after living in this country for the last 30+ years, Thanksgiving comes before Christmas.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm willing to bet, it is still a national holiday in this country.

In case you're wondering where I'm going with this rant, here it is.  This morning I was headed to the gym to attend a Spinning Certification Training.  I was pretty excited too, about the training and about the fact that the Mr. was staying home with all FOUR kids the entire day while I get to mingle with other adult minds.

Anyway, before I get lost in that world, let me move on.  I turned on the radio, hoping to find some sing-along music or something that would energize me.  Then I heard it... Bing Crosby's "Dreaming of a white Christmas."  It's November 8th!!  

Can we possibly get through the month of November before turning on the Christmas cheers.  At this rate, by the time Christmas comes around, I will be sick of the cheery music we get to replay once a year.

Don't get me wrong.  I LOVE Christmas.  I love the feeling of the season, baking cookies with the kids, getting together with family and friends, sometimes I even enjoy torturing myself with a crazy stroll through a mall, just to say I survived.  But I would like to reserve that experience to the month of December and focus on something I equally treasure in November...giving thanks.

I see Thanksgiving as a day to give thanks for the wonderful people in our lives, give thanks for having yet another day when we wake up to enjoy our children, our family, our friends and one more day to give thanks for the beauty we are giving in nature...just look around.   

We can reflect on the material things we have, our careers, our education; but none of that matters without the love of those we hold dear.  The best thing about this holiday, besides the awesome meals and the excuse to gain a few pounds, we don't even have to think about buying gifts because it's not about gift giving and receiving. 

It is, in my opinion, the most honest holiday when families get together to share a meal, share life stories, watch the football game, and catch up with each other.  

I will not be hitting that radio station button on my dial until I'm ready for Christmas music.

  

In the mean time, lets take time to give to those who are less fortunate than us, and extend a helping hand all year long. 

 

A giving heart is a thankful heart!